Bully's Progress

What if a playground’s biggest bully, in a run for class president, found a way to do his bullying by proxy?

While paying lesser bullies to beat up the little kids for their lunch money—and pocketing most of the proceeds—the head bully shakes hands and passes out candy. He never mentions the thuggish activity carried out by his confederates. He smiles, and there is a twinkle in his eye.

Of course, if you dare criticize him, his friends will pummel you. Everyone else will wonder why you’d attack such a nice guy, possessed of such a firm handshake and so folksy a manner.